Sunday, August 2, 2009

神為我開路,在絕望無路之處。

Maybe you don't understand that Chinese title, it says God will make a way for me; even at where is hopeless to find a road.

This week is a local low point for me. You know I am in divorce process and I am selling the house. But only few know that I got laid off from job pass Thursday and when I moved my stuff from office in a big box, I pull my left shoulder and 2 days later, it had become a sharp pain so that I can't raise my left arm. I went to see a Chinese acupuncture doctor Dr. Wang. He is very good. After the first treatment, the continuous pain is gone, after three treatments, I can move my arm a little. But I can't move my arm overhead without huge pain. If I need to reach above my head with my left arm, I have to use my right hand to hold up my left arm, then it can stay there.

Although being at such a low point, I felt peaceful. It's hard to understand if you are not a Christian. Well, not completely peaceful, more like somewhat peaceful, and I still have little doubt. Like what am I going to do? Can I find a job at such a bad economic down turn. California unemployment rate is over 11%. I believe God will take care of me, but will He? I was seeking confirmation from Him.

This Sunday morning, as I walked into ROLCC church, I knew God is going to send his confirmation to me, so I waited. It's not unusual that pastor give out hope and God's promise of tomorrow. But at the end, he picked this worship hymns:
神為我開路,在絕望無路之處。
祂的方式,難以明瞭,祂卻要為我開路,
神要引導我,願我靠近祂身旁。
在每一天,賜慈愛力量,祂為我開路。

You probably didn't know I was away from ROLCC for more than three years (because my ex doesn't like there) I just got back there after we separated half year after. When I first jointed ROLCC, maybe after 3, 4 months, I got laid off, too. A month and half later, I landed a better job and at end, I walk out with 750,000 worth of stock option. This time around, when I got laid off, I don't surprised as much. I believe He is going to open up a better door for me, although I don't know what that is yet.

The Lyrics says: His way is hard to understand, but He is going to make a way for me. I think the fact I got laid off and my arm got hurt were all His ways. So I boldly asked confirmation from Him. I prayed: If this is your way, if you are going to make a way for me, please let me raise my left hand to praise you. In the middle of hymns, I raised both my arms not only once, but twice to praise Him without any pain; a little sore at worst. I raised my arms or minutes before I put them down. I know it's His sign to tell me: Don't worry, your way is in My hand.

Not enough confirmation? When I walk out that church and I knew what will happen. I tried to raise my left arm, a sharp pain back into my shoulder and I couldn't do that. I tried twice, try to mimic the same way I did it inside church, but I just couldn't, the pain was too much. Dear Lord, thank you. I totally believe you now, You can take away my shoulder problem now, if You wish.

=== above post at 8/2/2009 ===

If you wonder what happens to my arm, I am glade to tell you, as today, my left arm is free to do almost everything, only a little sore in my shoulder. Even the doctor is surprised that I recovered so fast. Praise the Lord!
Now what? My house is pending (buyers removed all contingencies) . I need to look for a place to rent and I still need a job. I know my God will take care of me. Even at this economic down turn.

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